Acute Stress Disorder

Alcoholism

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Characteristics of Survivors

Child Development 6-9 years old

Co-dependency

Common Longer-term Post-Traumatic Stress Reactions

Domestic Violence

Emotional Disorders in Children & Adolescents

Helping Children Cope with Trauma

Helping Children Cope with Trauma – Suggestions for Adults

How to be Resilient: Coping with Crisis

People who have been Sexually Assaulted

Sexual Abuse of Children

Survival Strategies for Caregivers

Tips for Victim Satisfaction with the Criminal Justice System

Acute Stress: Reactions after a Traumatic Experience

After a sudden loss, injury or complicated illness, a person may go through a period of about a month where they experience feelings of fear, helplessness or horror as well as some physical symptoms. This is known as Acute Stress Disorder. These feelings of stress and sadness are to be expected during such times and usually go away after a person has had a chance to feel better about themselves and the future. If symptoms last longer than a month, a person may be developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and may need long term counseling.

Acute Stress Disorder Includes:

1. Feelings of jumpiness or panic.
2. Feelings of numbness, being in a daze or in shock over what has happened.
3. Feelings of despair and hopelessness.
4. Forgetfulness about parts of the tragedy or things that need to get done.
5. Difficulty concentrating while trying to do other things (i.E., reading or watching TV).
6. Difficulty falling or staying asleep.
7. Nightmares during sleep.
8. Daydreaming and thinking about the event incessantly as well as things that could, should or might have been different.
9. Loss of interest in work, socializing or other activities previously enjoyed.
10. Difficulty resolving issues related to the tragedy or in obtaining necessary resources.

A Wide Range of physical symptoms may occur, such as:

• Headaches.
• Muscle and joint pain, twitches or shakiness.
• Stomach ache, diarrhea, indigestion, heartburn, frequent urination.
• Sweating, dry mouth, cold hands.
• Fatigue and irritability.
• Substance abuse.
• Sexual dysfunction.

There are several ways to deal with acute stress:

1. Talk to friends, family members or a member of the clergy about your feelings. Join a peer support network that can understand and share experiences.
2. Express feelings and memories by writing in journals or letters, or use creative expression such as drawing, painting, sculpting, quilting, singing, dancing, etc.
3. Remember to use your sense of humor; know it’s okay to laugh.
4. Ensure that you are eating well-balanced and nutritious meals, drinking water and getting exercise. Avoid alcohol and non-prescribed drugs.
5. If the tragedy has disrupted daily routine, reestablish that rountine as soon as possible.
6. List all the issues you need to address following the tragedy and deal with them one at a time. Avoid making any major life changes immediately. Allow time to deal with issues and other people’s needs.
7. Get help from reliable people who can advise you on legal and financial issues, who can help with household chores and who can provide comfort.
8. Remember to involve children in age-appropriate activities and ensure that they are emotionally and physically cared for as well.
9. If symptoms last longer than one month, seek professional counseling.

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Alcoholism

What is it?

Alcoholism is a very real illness backed with scientific evidence of its victim’s psychological and physical dependency on alcohol. While most people can, indeed, use alcohol socially without becoming addicted, the alcoholic is unable to control his need to drink, even though he desperately wants to control that need.

The first symptoms of alcoholism may last up to 10 years; and is often people who drink to get relief from pressures from: work, home, money or other concerns. The alcoholic will continue to believe that drinking is a solution to problems, and will continue to indulge regularly.

Middle-stage alcoholism involves a cycle of drinking, which produces guilt, isolation and discouragement. Drinking is concealed or denied. Signs of drinking increase and may include drinking alone, in the morning or at work.

In the final stages of alcoholism, loneliness prevails. The alcoholic has generally isolated himself from friends and family and is consumed with guilt over drinking. In this stage, the alcoholic lives to drink, putting alcohol above everything - work, family, even food. Personal problems result from alcohol abuse and malnutrition. If the alcoholic in this stage does not seek help, he continues along this path of progressive suicide.

Effects of Alcoholism:

Alcoholics not only hurt themselves, but also their families, friends, employers – even strangers on the highway. Alcoholism is one of this country’s top health problems ranking with cancer, heart disease and mental illness.

The side effects of alcoholism are numerous:

• Chronic liver disease and anemia
• Neurological disorders and gastrointestinal bleeding
• Psychological effects are equally vast, ranging from hallucinations to complete self-imposed isolation
• Memory lapses during and after drinking
• Divorce, delinquency, crime, even suicide, are frequently found among families with alcoholic members

Recovery:

Typically, the treatment involves two applied techniques: an individualized program of total abstinence from alcohol, and the well proven recovery steps developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. The approach usually emphasizes participation by family and other loved ones.

To assure that treatment meets all of an individual’s needs, assessments by a medical doctor and psychologist should occur prior to planning the alcoholic’s program of active inpatient care, recreational therapy and aftercare.

A Helping Hand Counseling provides individual and group therapy, medication management and in-patient referrals if needed. 

Call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721.

Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

What is attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder?

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

The persistence and magnitude of the symptoms is what differentiates the ADHD child from other children. These symptoms may include:

• Attention demanding behavior
• Short attention span
• Difficulty following directions
• Poorly coordinated
• Reads poorly if at all
• Impulsive
• Late speech development
• Difficult to discipline
• Resistant and domineering social behavior

Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) manifests itself in children prior to age seven with the essential features of impulsivity and developmentally inappropriate attention seeking behaviors. ADHD is more common in boys than in goods and affects up to 10% of school age children. Inattentiveness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity are all characteristics of the ADHD child.

What causes ADHD?

The causes of ADHD are not certain. Some professionals believe it to be a genetically determined disorder while others believe it to be an exaggeration of traits that people normally possess. Data is still being collected to help substantiate the causes of this disorder.

How is it treated?

It is important to remember that children with a specific learning disability may have an attention deficit, but not all ADHD children are diagnosed as having a specific learning disability. Medication does appear to be helpful in the treatment of children with ADHD. The different medications most often used include: Ritalin, Dexedrine, Cylert and Tofranil. Other successful methods have included a structured environment with minimal amount of changes.

If you have questions or need assistance with you, your child or adolescent, please know that we have individual and family counseling as well as medication evaluations and medication management available. 

Please call: A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Getting Stronger at the Broken Places – Characteristics of Survivors –

“Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.”

                                                            Sir Winston Churchill

Resiliency is not merely a reflection of inherent strengths, but is a term used to describe what a person does in specific stressful situations. Resilience is a person’s ability to maintain a level of functioning that adapts to a situation of extreme stress including exposure to trauma.

Three basic variables influence a person’s resiliency: personality, family and availability of support systems. The impact that traumatic events have on individuals also depends somewhat on the resilience of the person affected by the trauma. “Stress-resilient” people appear to be relatively invulnerable in extreme situations. Studies conclude resilient individuals appear to be those who include these traits:

• High sociability.
• Faith.
• A thoughtful and active coping style (task oriented).
• A strong perception of their ability to control their destiny (belief in self and one’s strengths).
• Determination.
• An extraordinary will to transcend.
• The capacity to preserve social connections.
• The capacity to preserve their calm.
• The capacity to preserve their judgment, moral values and sense of meaning.
• A high degree of responsibility for the protection of others as well as themselves, avoiding unnecessary risks.
• The ability to accept fear in themselves and others but ar prepared for danger as well as they can be.
• Fortunate or positive circumstances in their lives.
• An avoidance of isolation.

What have survivors learned about “getting stronger at the broken places”?

• Remember the past.
• Live in the present and confront the reality of the traumatic event.
• Get the hurt and pain “up and out” – get angry about it and get rid of the anger quickly.
• Get a sense of the “big picture”.
• Avoid isolation.
• Reach out to get help from others.
• Let in what you can handle.
• Keep aware of the truth and be honest with yourself – confront the reality of the impact.
• Have a strong will to live.
• Focus on healing and recovery – take care of your body and soul.
• Learn to laugh again.
• Become aware of your and others’ limitations.
• Learn from others.
• Listen to others.
• Look to the future.
• Reach out, take action and give help to others.

Let us realize what happens around us is largely outside our control, but that the way we choose to react to it is inside our control.

Anonymous

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Child Development 6-9 years old

The early school years are important ones for your child. They establish lifelong skills and patterns which can greatly influence your child’s future. By understanding the stages in your child’s development, parents will be able to enjoy your child more if you know what to expect and how to prepare for it.

Physical Development

• As 6 to 9 year olds mature physically, they may experience slower growth. This “prepuberty” stage is a time when the skeleton grows slowly.
• Children this age may be overweight until their height “catches up” to the rest of them.
• Children exhibit a tendency to catch colds and other childhood illnesses, especially between the ages of 6 to 7.

Tips for Parents

• Schedule checkups for your child once a year
• Provide snacks that are nutritious (fruit and cheese instead of high calorie candy and cake)
• Watch for reactions to stress, which may be related to a fear of school, or to a period of illness or hospitalization. Typical symptoms include bedwetting, headaches, and bowel problems.

Emotional Development

• Children in the 6 to 9 year old range may become very emotional with occasional mood swings
• At this age children may seem demanding, inflexible and likely to lie, cheat or complain a lot
• Children may express worries, especially about personal safety

Tips for parents:

• Set a good example for your child is to teach him or her how to solve problems by sharing some of your own experiences.
• Don’t pressure your child to join teams, clubs, or activities. Children in this age group need to develop their own interests, on their own terms
• Discuss worries and concerns your child may have in an open and reassuring way

Learning Problems

Common causes of learning problems include anxiety and tension brought on by events such as illness, moving, divorce, or death of a family member or acquaintance.

Tips for Parents

• Keep in touch with teachers about your child’s progress
• Encourage creativity and new interests
• Help your child become sensitive to others

If you have questions or need assistance with parenting skills, please know that we have individual, family and group counseling available. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Co-Dependency

What is it?

Co- dependency refers to a conditions most frequently caused by growing up in a family where there is a dysfunctional person and/or dysfunctional ways of communicating. The problem often is identified with alcoholism, but today it is also identified with drug addiction, abuse, neglect, physical disability, mental illness, or simply someone with a high level need for attention. These concerns continue to adversely affect people throughout their lives and influence lifestyles and relationships.

Tell me more:

Co-dependents are caught in a cycle of self-defeating behavior that only serve to reinforce their sense of inadequacy and promote guilt and shame. The co-dependent denies much of who he or she really is. They hide from themselves.

Characteristics of Co-dependents:

• Put other’s needs ahead of your own
• Controlling other people and situations
• Constant worry and obsession
• Denial of the problem
• Dependency on others financially and emotionally
• Pleasing others and always seeking approval
• Repression of thoughts and feelings
• Fear of difficulty dealing with anger
• Poor communication skills
• Unrealistic expectations
• Feelings of martyrdom and deprivation
• High tolerance of abnormal behaviors
• Fear of abandonment and intimacy
• Low self-esteem
• Attraction to sick and needy people

Is there help?

Yes! Similar to a disease, co-dependency can become life threatening if left untreated. The vicious cycle can be interrupted and skills developed that lead to healthy relationships at home, work and play.

If you or your loved one would like confidential assistance through therapy, contact us.

Common Longer-Term Post-Traumatic Stress Reactions

After experiencing sudden, frightful and dangerous events, some people have trouble managing the traumatic memories of what happened. It almost seems as though they are “haunted” by these memories. As a result, many have difficulty functioning at home, at work, at school and in social situations.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric diagnosis that can be used to describe someone experiencing problems from such memories.

People who have PTSD share common characterisitics:

·  Each has experienced a traumatic event;

·  Each re-lives some part of the traumatic event;

·  Each attempts to avoid some or all the things that remind them of the traumatic event; and,

·  Each shows some kind of heightened agitation about the traumatic event.

Some Common Symptoms of PTSD:

1.      Problems sleeping/nightmares.

2.      Unwanted memories

3.      Pulling away from loved ones.

4.      Eating too much or too little.

5.      Guilt about surviving.

6.      Not wanting to talk about the event.

7.      Alcohol and other drug abuse.

8.      More anger than usual.

9.      Depression and/or anxiety.

10. Limited sense of future.

11. Increased concerns for safety.

Take this short trauma assessment survey to determine the impact of traumatic event on your life.

• Did you suffer any physical injury as a result of the traumatic event?
• During the event, did you fear you might be seriously injured or killed?
• Are you having bad dreams or nightmares?
• Do thoughts of what happened pop into your mind at any time?
• Do you sometimes feel as if you’re there again – having it happen all over again?
• Do reminders of what happened cause you to feel scared all over again?
• Do you try to avoid anything and everything to do with what happened?
• Do you find you’re avoiding people?
• Do you have difficulty concentrating since the event?
• Do you “numb out” so you don’t feel anying?
• Do you startle and jump easily?
• Do you keep a watchful eye for danger?
• Do you have problems sleeping?
• Do you get angry easily?
• Have you missed work (or school) or appointments since the incident?
• Have you noticed a decline in school or job performance since the incident?
• Have you experienced these reactions for over one month?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is experienced by between 10 to 40 percent of people who experience traumatic events.

If you think you have PTSD:

• There is help for those who suffer from PTSD. Both counseling and prescribed medication have been proven useful in treating this disorder.
• Let yourself feel your fear – in little doses. Remember: what happened to you happened in the past.
• Set a sleep routine and follow it
• Join a peer support group of individuals who have experienced similar situations (crime victims, veterans, public safety, etc.)
• Join a group or organization that helps others and helps you to build or create something meaningful from your experience.
• Seek spiritual care from within your faith.
• Get counseling from trained trauma specialists. Ask potential counselors about their training and credentials. Make sure your counselor is experienced in working with victims of traumatic events.

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is:

• A pattern of behaviors including a variety of tactics- some physically injurious and some not, some criminal and some not- carried out in multiple, sometimes daily, episodes.
• A pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion.
• A combination of physical, sexual and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion.
• A combination of physical force and terror used by the perpetrator that causes physical and psychological harm to the victim and children.
• A pattern of purposeful behavior, directed at achieving compliance from or control over the victim.
• Behaviors perpetrated by adults or adolescents against their intimate partners in current or former dating, married or cohabiting relationships of heterosexuals, gays and lesbians.

Medical Statistics about Battered Women

• The FBI estimates that a woman is beaten every 9 seconds in the United States.
• Absenteeism from work due to domestic violence costs American businesses 3-5 billion dollars and another $100 million in medical bills annually.
• Battering is the single most common causes of injury to women, more common than automobile accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
• Research states that a woman will leave the battering situation 6 to 7 times before she actually gets out.
• The FBI reports that only 1 out of every 10 battered women will call the police.

Abuse can take many forms:

-- Do you know the signs of an Abusive Relationship?

Emotional Abuse:

Does your partner do things that shame, ridicule or insult you such as saying:

• You can’t do anything right.
• You’ll never get a job.
• You’re a bad parent.
• You don’t deserve anything.
• Who would want you?
• You’re stupid, fat, ugly, etc.?

Physical Abuse:

Does your partner:

• Abandon you or lock you out?
• Hurt you when you are sick or pregnant?
• Force you to have sex against your will?
• Throw objects at you or restrain you?
• Threaten or hurt you with a weapon?
• Hit, slap, shove, choke or kick you or your children?

Other Forms of Abuse:

Does your partner:

• Threaten to hurt your child or a pet?
• Forbid you to work?
• Control all the money and force you to account for what you spend?
• Accuse you of having affairs?
• Humiliate you in front of others?
• Keep you from family or friends?
• Confuse you with lies or promises?
• Take you keys, damage your car?
• Take or destroy your personal property or sentimental items?

If you can answer “yes” to even a few of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.   If you believe that you are in danger, please call the police.

If you need immediate help, please call the National Domestic Violence 24-Hour Hotline at 1-800-799-7233; TTY 1-800-787-3224.

If you believe that you can benefit from confidential therapy, contact us.. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721. 

Remember…You are not alone.

Emotional Disorders in Children & Adolescents

How can I encourage good emotional health in my child?

The following tips would be useful:

• Understanding your child’s needs
• Encourage independence
• Give guidance for making choices
• Give discipline, set fair limits and be consistent
• Share family problems, be honest
• Understand your child’s friends
• Help your child learn
• Share your experiences
• Take a break away from your children at times

A child’s emotional health is the way the child feels, thinks, behaves and relates to the world. It is important to know about a child’s emotional health, especially during early childhood, because parents greatly influence the status of the child’s emotional health. Factors that may influence the child’s emotional health include:

• Parent’s emotional background
• Parent’s acceptance of the child
• Home atmosphere
• Environment (school, community, etc.)
• Heredity

What are the causes of emotional disorders?

Problems may be rooted in one or more areas. They may be caused by physical disorders, environmental factors, or possibly, by heredity. A sudden stress or crisis, such as a death in the family or a parent’s job loss, can trigger emotional problems in a person who previously was very healthy.

What are the signs of serious emotional disturbance in children?

• Aggressive behavior (kicking, biting, constantly starting fights)
• Stealing
• Setting fires
• Hurting animals
• Depression, extreme sadness
• Uncommunicative, socially withdrawn
• Wetting bed or soiling underclothes
• Constant motion, inability to sit still
• Demanding, angry, constantly hostile
• Self injurious behaviors or statements
• School problems (declining grades, discipline problems, etc.)

What about the signs for adolescents

• Difficulty with authority
• Feelings of anxiety
• Depression lack of trust and lack of personal identity
• Out of control behavior such as dishonestly, temper tantrums, destructiveness to property
• Verbally and physically aggressive behavior
• Impulsivity and low frustration tolerance
• Sexual confusion
• Dysfunctional family interactions
• Impaired interpersonal relationships, social isolation
• History of sexual and physical abuse
• School problems (declining grades, truancy, disciplinary problems)
• Evidence of drug or alcohol abuse

It is important to note that most children have some or all of these symptoms at some time. However, if these symptoms are severe or persistent, professional help is probably needed.

If you have questions or need assistance with your child or adolescent, please know that we have individual and family counseling available. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Helping Children Cope with Trauma

1. Listen to children! Listen to them, but don’t force them to share; let it come naturally. It is important after a trauma to talk about the event- often. While it may be difficult or tiresome for you to hear the same story repeatedly, talking is a crucial part of recovery. Be supportive and sympathetic, but avoid overreacting. Don’t try to make it okay; let the child express fears, thoughts and worries.

2. Ask what they know about the event and find out what their perceptions are. Don’t jump to conclusions. Parents should be prepared for children to talk sporadically about the event, spending small segments of time concentrating on particular aspects of the tragedy.

3. Reassure children that their feelings are normal. Do not try to change those feelings or say they should not feel that way. Let them know that you will not judge, tease or make fun of what they tell you.

4.  Allow children to express feelings and share yours with them if and when appropriate. Address the irrationality and suddenness of the event or disaster. Children and adults need their feelings validated. It may be useful to heave children paint, draw or write about the event.

5. Reassure children that they are safe and loved, and that people are doing everything possible to make this a safer world (Give examples of police, firefighters, rescuers, nurses, doctors, etc., who may be on TV or helping in communities).

6. Review family safety procedure. If the family has none, take this time to establish them.

7. be honest and provide accurate facts about the event. Children want as much factual information as possible and should be allowed to discuss their perception of what happened in order to begin to master the trauma or to reassert control over their environment.

8. Keep all promises you make to a child during the crisis. In other words, do not make promises you cannot keep. It is important that a child can count on you when all else is in chaos.

9. Address issues of death concretely and factually. Give honest information about the tragedy and deaths based on the child’s maturity level. Always be truthful. Avoid euphemisms with children. Tell them that someone died rather than saying someone “went to sleep” or “went away” because younger children will wonder when they are coming back or be hurt that they left without saying goodbye.

10. Death in a child’s life is inevitable and means different things to children at different ages. Young children (ages 1-5) grieves for the threat to their security; children 6 years of age and older grieve more than the actual loss.

11. Older children are drawn together in situations of tragedy and will draw strength and support from each other. Let teens use age-appropriate ways to make themselves feel better; i.e. turning the stereo on loud, talking on the phone more than usual to their friends. Allow them privacy (both in physical space and to deal with their feelings) if they need it.

12. Don’t transfer your own fears to your children. Respond to safety issues with calm and reassurance. Often parents’ despair interferes with a child’s ability to heal. Don’t expect your child to take care of your fears, i.e. don’t keep your child home from school because you are afraid to be separated from him or her. Find help to cope with your own fear.

13. Help children return to a “normal” routine as soon as possible.

14. Spend extra time with each child doing something fun or relaxing and have a family time everyday.

15. Remember the importance of touch and hugs.

16. Be prepared to tolerate regressive behaviors and accept signs of aggression and anger especially in the early phases after the traumatic event.

17. Make sure all caregivers in the child’s life, such as teacher, babysitters, daycare providers, friends and neighbors, are aware of the impact of the event on the child.

18. Watch for signs of repetitive play or reenactments of the event. (These are normal reactions and can be addressed by trained trauma specialists).

19. Praise and recognize responsible behavior.

20. Connect the child and family to support groups, resources, child trauma specialists or other helpful community resources who can provide information.

21. Assure the child that the events are not their fault.

22. Talk in hopeful terms about the future. This can help a child rebuild trust and faith in his own future and the world.

If your child has experienced trauma or loss, contact us for an appointment.:

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721.  We can help!!!

Helping Teenagers Cope with Trauma-

Suggestions for adults who work with teens

Listen and Give Support

·        Explain what has happened and answer their questions honestly and truthfully.

·        Listen to their words and pay attention to their feelings. Watch their body language.

·        Encourage teens to express their feelings and reactions so you can help them deal with all that is going on inside of them in a safe place.

·        Be patient and supportive and assure them that their reactions are understandable, common and normal. Do not rush their process.

·        Do not be judgmental and punitive. Teens need to feel safe with you, especially when they are feeling scared and hurt.

·        Remember that anyone who goes through a trauma feels scared and vulnerable and needs to feel emotionally safe.

·        Do not tell the teens how they should feel and react. Listen and support them as they share.

·        Tell them you love them and what you appreciate about them. Teens need positive support after trauma even more than usual.

Be Understanding and Accepting

• Concentrating and memory are often impaired after trauma and teens may need help getting work done.
• Understand that teens often want to be with their friends and not their families.
• Know that teens may exhibit childish, immature behaviors, regress back to earlier stages of development and then act very mature and adult. They are both a child and adult after trauma. ‘
• Remember that everyone recovers differently from trauma and that teens may seem to be fine at first and then need help later.

Encourage and Be Involved

• Help teens get back into a routine as soon as possible, even if they cannot do all they used to do.
• Sometimes teens talk better and share more when they are doing activities such as walking, driving, games, sports, hobbies or similar activities. This is especially true for boys.
• Suggest that they can express their reactions and feelings through writing journals, art, music, drama, dances or other expressive media.
• Give them appropriate responsibilities and duties, and expect that they will fulfill them. Support them when they do and help them get on track if they don’t.
• Encourage them to get involved with positive activities with other teens, especially activities they enjoyed before the trauma.

Be Aware and Concerned

• Watch for changes in their behavior (eg., a usually outgoing teen becomes withdrawn or a well behaved teen starts acting out). This may call for deeper discussions or professional intervention if it continues for months after the trauma.
• Teens often withdraw from everyone when they are dealing with difficult reactions. Support them, but monitor their television watching, computer time and listening to music.
• Watch for signs of substance use and abuse; help them find other ways of coping.
• Statements of hopelessness and seeing no reason to keep on living by teens should be confronted in a caring, supportive discussion. Professional intervention may be needed.

Take Care of Yourself

• If you feel comfortable, share your own reactions appropriately.
• If you do not feel comfortable talking about the trauma, about death or about this particular trauma, refer the teens to someone who does
• Take care of yourself so you can continue to help teens and be a healthy role model.

Remember:

There is expert help available to assist.  A professional licensed clinician can ease the pain and shorten the length and intensity of the trauma results.  Thankfully, most victims learn coping skills and grow stronger as they become survivors of trauma.

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

How to be Resilient: Coping With Crisis

• Mood Swings – Unexpected fluctuations in feelings, including fear, sadness, outrage, irritability, anxiety, disgust, morbid curiosity, playful laughter
• Distressing experiences such as flashbacks, nightmares, hyper-alertness, emotional numbing
• Seeking Overcontrol - avoiding feared situations (flight, tall building, public places, etc.), clinging to loved ones, persuading others of one’s point of view. We try to deny that we live with risk. But when expectations clash with reality – reality always wins
• Judging Ourselves – guilt and shame when we don’t react as we believe we should
• Judging Others – disappointment or disgust when other feel or act differently from our expectations, prejudicial blaming of convenient targets in our lives

• Regression – Returning to behaviors from earlier childhood such as thumb sucking, bedwetting, etc.
• Clinging – Demanding physical contact and/or adult proximity
• Refusals – Resisting bed time, chores, usual roles
• Withdrawal – Avoiding friends, family and usual activities
• Physical Complaints – Stomach aches, headaches

• Be Gracious (to ourselves and others) – Accept flexibly our varying feelings, attitudes and behaviors (Like in an earthquake, flexibility wins over rigidity every time)
• Take Care of Our Bodies – Rest, relaxation, good nutrition, exercise
• Connect With Others – Socialize, tell about our experiences, patiently listen to others’ experiences, consider joining a support group
• Return to Daily Routines As Soon As Possible
• Avoid Immediate Big Decisions – Often our judgment is impaired by trauma
• Consider Professional Help - when stuck in feelings, thoughts or behaviors that are unhealthy (Anxiety/worry, avoidance, addictive behaviors, vengeful thoughts or acts)

• Initiate More Contact – Be more physically and emotionally affectionate (as our kids allow it, especially if they become “clingy”)
• Initiate Conversation About the Crisis – Better to risk raising it than allowing them to carry distress alone
• Approach the Topic in Broad, General Terms – Meet them where they are, consider drawing or storytelling for younger children
• Validate Their Feelings
• Reassure Them That You Are Taking Steps to Protect Them

© 2003 Dean R. Given, Ph.D.
Dean R. Given, Ph.D., President
 

If you or your loved one is in the midst of a crisis or is struggling due to an unexpected life change, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Information for People who have been Sexually Assaulted

Experts have learned that survivors may experience common symptoms immediately following their assault. While each person is different and may not experience every symptom, it is important that you know what to expect so you know you are not strange, weird, different or crazy.

-- Body Soreness

• All-over feeling of soreness.
• Specific soreness.
• Injuries

-- Sleeping Problems

• Inability to fall asleep or stay asleep.
• Waking up at the same time the assault occurred.

--Eating Problems

• Decrease or loss in appetite. Some survivors experience stomach pain. It is important to make sure stomach pain or nausea is not caused by anti-pregnancy medication.

--Physical Reactions

• Irritation, itching, burning, pain or bleeding. While people who are sexually assaulted do not always experience serious physical injury, it does not always experience serious physical injury, it does not mean that they will not have physical symptoms that cause discomfort or pain.
• In addition to the injuries cause by the assault itself, some victims find themselves having serious internal injuries, such as inability to have children in the future or sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

--Emotional Reactions

• Feeling of Fear. Survivors experience all types of fear during the assault. Fear of physical injury, fear of mutilation and even fear of death. They may wonder, “if this person can do this to me, what will stop them from doing more?” Fear may be one of the most difficult emotions for survivors to understand. They may know they are safe, but they do not feel safe.

--Thoughts

• Blocking or blotting out the attack. Traumatic thoughts seem to creep into our mind when we least expect them. The natural reaction is to stop the thought immediately! Survivors of sexual assault may begin to block out their assault even while it is still happening.
• Self blame. Trying to understand why the assault occurred might result in survivors blaming themselves. They may feel that there was something they could have done to prevent or escape the assault.

What Can You Do?

Be Patient with Yourself

• Give yourself time to heal.
• You have experienced a trauma; it takes time to return to a pre-trauma level of functioning.
• You may experience a setback. Remember that you have been through an experience that your mind is struggling to understand. It is common for people to make progress and then feel they have taken several steps back. You may continue to gain ground.

Believe in Yourself

• You are still capable of doing all the things you did before you were assaulted. It may feel impossible, but you will succeed!
• You are not to blame for the assault. Your attacker chose to hurt you; you did not ask to be hurt.

Take care of yourself

• Eat healthy foods.
• Get plenty of rest.
• Set limits.
• Spend time with people who are supportive and understanding.
• Take care of medical symptoms.
• Journal.
• Give yourself permission to grieve.

Talk with someone….

• Sexual Assault Advocate
• Support Group for Survivors of Sexual Assault
• Counselor
• Family member
• Friend
• Physician
• Religious or spiritual leader

You are not to blame.

You will heal and move past this moment.

You will not always feel sad.

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in this area and in helping you through this difficult issue. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Sexual Abuse of Children

Sexual abuse of children by adults or by older children is a wide spread problem. Recent studies suggest that as many as 40 million people, about one in six Americans, may have been sexually victimized as children. Sexual abuse can happen to any child at any time, anywhere.

Who is a Sexual Abuser?

• The majority of abusers are men; but women may abuse children as well
• Abusers come from all age groups, ethnic groups, and economic groups
• The majority of all abuses are committed by someone the child knows and/or trusts – a family member, relative, babysitter or neighbor
• Victims of sexual abuse could grow up to sexually abuse children themselves (or marry or live with someone who does)
• The abuser usually tries to control the victim by coercion, using power of authority, manipulation or bribing

The effects of sexual abuse

Effects vary depending on the victim’s age, personality, and the type of incident.

*A single minor incident like exhibitionism, an obscene call, foundling, etc. may cause temporary emotional disturbances such as:

-         embarrassment, fear, confusion

-         guilt, anxiety, sense of rejection

-         distrust of adults, strangers

*More severe situations including incest and violent abuse may have long-lasting effects such as:

-         Behavioral problems including withdrawal, school problems, aggressive behavior, running away, etc.

-         Psychological harm that can result in nightmares, extreme depression or anxiety.

-         Physical harm including cuts and bruises, venereal disease and pregnancy.

How to Help

If you learn that a child has been sexually abused:

1.      Don’t deny the problem-believe the child.

2.      Control your own emotions- stay calm, never blame, punish or embarrass the child.

3.      Get information-find out as much as possible about events leading up to, during and after the incident.

4.      Get medical assistance-contact a physician promptly for treatment of any physical injuries.

5.      Call the police- tell all the details you know, even those that seem unimportant. It might help prevent harm to other children.

6.      Most importantly - Get professional help for the child… even if no immediate symptoms are evident.

At A Helping Hand Counseling, we have many expert licensed clinicians who can help to alleviate the pain for you or your child.  Please do not wait. 

Call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721 today!

Survival Strategies for Caregivers

Vicarious trauma results when caregivers become emotionally drained from hearing about and being exposed to the pain and trauma of the people whom they are helping.

Self-Awareness and Self-Care

1. If you are dealing with a community tragedy, learn as much as possible about the event and deal with and articulate the powerful emotions and reactions related to the event.
2. Know your own “triggers” and vulnerable areas; learn to defuse them or avoid them.
3. Resolve your own personal issues and continue to monitor your own reactions to others’ pain.
4. Be human and allow yourself to grieve when bad things happen to others. Remember that “normal responses to abnormal situations” is true for helpers as well as victims.
5. Develop realistic expectations about the rewards as well as limitations of being a helper. Set boundaries for yourself. Ask yourself, “Would the world fall apart if I step away from my work for a day or a week?” Think about this: If you never say “no,” what is your “yes” worth?
6. Balance your work with other professionals and personal activities that provide opportunities for growth and renewal.
7. Engage in activities, hobbies and interests other than professional.

Ask for and Accept Help from other Professionals

1. Find opportunities to acknowledge express and work through your experience in a supportive environment. Debrief yourself regularly and build healthy support groups.
2. Seek assistance from other colleagues and caregivers who have had experience with trauma and have remained healthy and hopeful, or have learned from their experiences. Take their advice.
3. Delegate responsibilities and get help from others for routine work when appropriate.
4. Develop a healthy support system to protect yourself from further fatigue and emotional exhaustion.
5. Remember: most victims of trauma do grow and learn from their experiences and so can their helpers.

Live a Healthy, Balanced Life

1. Take an honest look at your life before a crisis strikes. Find help to identify your obvious risks and work to correct or minimize them.
2. Eat nutritious food, exercise, rest, meditate or pray, and take care of your whole self.
3. Find professional activities that provide opportunities for growth and renewal.
4. Find ways to provide yourself with emotional and spiritual strength for the future.
5. Develop and reward your sense of humor. Expose yourself to humorous situations. Learn to laugh, enjoy life, have healthy personal relationships and breathe deeply.
6. Avoid chaotic situations and learn simplicity.
7. Take time to return to normal activities regularly.
8. When engaged in crisis response, encourage other colleagues engaged in the same kind of work to exercise regularly and maintain good nutrition by:
• Eating nutritious foods regularly 4 to 5 times a day in small amounts.
• Eating high-energy non-perishable foods such as dried fruit, granola bars, nuts, trail mix, fruit, water, mineral water, milk, decaffeinated coffee/tea, juice and electrolyte supplements.
• Eating good balanced meals. Avoid caffeine, sugar, pastries and fast foods high in salt and fat.
• Eating with a friend.
• Taking calcium supplements which can counteract high levels of lactic acid produced by tension or taking Vitamin C to help maintain alertness. Always check with your doctor to make sure you can tolerate these supplements!

If you or your loved one is struggling, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you through the difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721

Twenty Tips for Victim Satisfaction with the Criminal Justice System

As you become a part of the criminal justice process as a victim, family members or witness, keep the following in mind:

1. The Victim’s Bill of Rights in most states gives you opportunities to become involved in the system as a victim, family member of a victim or as a witness. Find out what your state has mandated by contacting the local victim witness assistance office with your law enforcement, prosecutor’s office or Attorney General’s office. Victim’s Rights also encourage and, ins some states, mandate:

• Victim notification for hearings and trials;
• Offender releases or transfers from prison;
• Victim’s compensation funding;
• The right to be treated with dignity and compassion; and
• The right to be informed about the progress and process of the case;
• The right for creditor intervention.

2. Determination and commitment work. If you want to become informed from the beginning of the case, individuals within the system will help you with the support you need.

3. If you do not think investigators have accurate information, write down the correct information and submit it to the investigating officer with a copy to his/her supervisor. Save a copy for yourself.

4. Meet criminal justice officials in person whenever possible. Make appointments to visit those individuals who have authority regarding your case. Make sure they know of your interest and have them answer questions you may have. Write down you questions so that you won’t forget what you need to know. The Justice System is confusing, so don’t hesitate to take notes. 

5. Be willing to commit time and emotional energy to your case. Ask those in charge of your case to inform you any time there is a new development or change in the case. Be prepared for changes in court schedules, delays and various hearings in preparation for trial. Document phone calls and, if necessary, write letters to those involved in prosecuting the case so that there is written documentation of your interest to be informed of each step of the process.

6. Be prepared for changes and be prepared to wait! Most criminal cases are resolved by the offender pleading guilty to a criminal charge. You may have prepared for a trial, but strong evidence (or lack of it), strengths and weaknesses in cases, and an overburdened court docket make pleas necessary in the criminal justice system. In many jurisdictions it takes months and sometimes years for a case to go to court. Ask the prosecutor how long you may have to wait for your case. They may be able to “fast track” it if the victim is vulnerable, a domestic violence victim or has special needs.

7. Make sure all offices have up-to-date information about your residency and any changes in phone numbers or e-mail addresses.

8. Determine if you are eligible for Crime Victim’s Compensation in your state. Compensation can pay a certain amount for burial expenses, lost wages, medical and hospitalization, psychological counseling and, in some states, partial property loss of elderly victims.

9. Reduce opportunities for intimidation. Become familiar with the criminal justice system. Visit the courthouse, law enforcement offices, the courtroom and meet some of the courtroom staff.

10. Be familiar with the court process. Identify the local crime victim advocate who can explain the court system and prepare witnesses for testifying in court.

11. Take Advantage of your right to provide a Victim Impact Statement at sentencing. The Victim Impact Statement is your opportunity to present orally and/or in writing information to the Court, during sentencing, as to how the crime affecting you physically, emotionally, financially. Most states allow victims or family members of victims to present statements to the court.

12. Identify other resources within the system that may influence corrections and probation, parole and pardon of the offender.

13. Determine your goals and do not have false expectations. What do you want to accomplish? Set realistic and manageable goals. The criminal justice system doesn’t always meet expectations of victims and families. Understand the strengths and weaknesses in your particular case. Become educated; look beyond the criminal justice system to other resources that can give meaning to your trauma or loss.

14. Do not pay attention to rumors that may surface about your case, the defendant or anything else related to the incident. Always check with investigators or prosecutors to substantiate information.

15. Continuances. Cases scheduled for court date do not always go to trial on the date set and are often continued. Continuances are frustrating for all concerned but are many times unavoidable. Have the prosecutor explain the reason for the continuance and be prepared for the possibility of other continuances.

16. Follow up, follow up, follow up. Absolutely essential – do not wait for service agencies to call you back – you MUST follow up after each phone call, letter or meeting. The more you follow up, the more successful will be your search for information and assistance.

17. Keep your contact information about law enforcement, prosecutors, charges and date of conviction so that you can follow up with letters to corrections officials if necessary.

18. You may have the possibility of filing a civil suit against your perpetrator. Check with your prosecutor first before contacting your local lawyer referral service or your family attorney for advice. Some attorneys specialize in working with crime victim litigation.

19. Recognize your local law enforcement officers and prosecutor’s office for the work and support they offer.

20. Develop resiliency for the long haul. What internal and external resources and resiliencies do you have? How have you managed in the past to confront challenges and disappointments? What did you learn from prior experiences? Develop physical, emotional and spiritual strengths to help yourself, join a support group and get involved in helping others. Find a way to make this event meaningful to you in helping others.

If you are needing clinical assistance, please know that we have therapists who are skilled in helping you work through the emotions of these difficult times. 

Please call A Helping Hand Counseling at 858-279-6721